THE UN-BUSY BLOGGER.
The one question I dread above any other:
‘What are you working on?’
It’s like a cloak of self-doubt drapes over me – from the top of my head down through my body. A thousand tiny pins and needles of fear freeze me.
Ridiculous thoughts rush through my mind in those few Nano-seconds before I reply.
‘What am I working on?’
‘I’m totally ‘un-busy”
‘I can’t remember’
‘I’m a failure’
‘I’ve literally failed at life’
‘Why am I mental?’
It’s the strangest feeling. Why does a simple question bring me such anxiety?
I’ve built my life on purpose. I am not run-ragged busy with work – and I don’t believe I have to be in order to be successful.
I’ve always had the mind-set that I want to have a happy, comfortable life. And for me, that means working hard enough to sustain a lifestyle that covers the above off – but not digging myself an early grave to do more.
There’s no lack of ambition because my client list isn’t coming out of my ears (or any other orifice for that matter).
My day to day involves me working from home, walking my dogs, making cups of tea and probably reading a book in the evening once I’ve finished my to-do list. But I make ends meet (when invoices are paid on time: LOL) and I’m totally happy with that.
But still, I find it unsettling to be asked about it.
I think the fear stems from living in such a fast-paced, ever changing digital world. There’s an unchartered type of fame rising from people making their living through the internet. And in my (humble) opinion, the comparison boat we’re all riding in is destined to sink.
I can’t look at ‘X’ starring in the new global campaign for ‘X’ and think I’ve failed. It’s not healthy and it’s certainly not realistic.
Whatever it is I’m working on, I’m going to work on being more confident in my reply to that dreaded question.
I’m proud of the work that I do and the life that I’ve built and there’s nothing to be ashamed of.
Here’s to say:
I’m happy to go a little bit slower. Are you?
SHOP MY LOOK:
Photography by Shweta Shukla