Today’s blog post is a little impromptu. An off the cuff emotional splurge, if you will.
A few weeks back I booked in to have some photos taken with the insanely talented Catherine Harbour. I’m signed with MiLK Model Management, (to their digital influencer division, may I add) and whilst I’m not a model, my lovely manager, Lucy, assured me it’d be worth having some new shots taken; just to show a slightly different side to Wonderful You (or whatever)).
And I’m SO chuffed with how they came out – but that’s not really why I’m writing this post.
This is a post for all the bloggers out there who want to step in to themselves. Actually scrap that, this is for all the WOMEN out there who want to step in to themselves.
I’ve been blogging for a year as a full-time job, and within that time I’ve been bloody lucky to have some incredible opportunities, from TV campaigns to being a brand ambassador – they’re experiences I couldn’t have dreamed for myself. But they’re not opportunities that I find easy to grab on to.
Because SPOILER ALERT: I’m not a model.
Or particularly confident, for that matter.
The thing is, I don’t know the exact measurements of my body and I don’t really know my best angles and I’m not 5’11. I’m confident enough to take a selfie, sure; or have my friend take my blog photos, but asides from that? I have no idea what I’m doing. And a lot of the time, the opportunities that arise, well, they’re throwing us in to model territory, and for me, that’s petrifying.
I was awake until the early hours of the morning on the day of the shoot with Cat – these photos aren’t even for anything, they’re just for me, and yet I couldn’t sleep for worrying.
I was booked in with two other models and all I could think was ‘Cat is going to think I’m a knob and that I don’t know what I’m doing’ – and that made me anxious because, well, if that’s what she’d thought, she’d have been right.
But then, receiving these photos today and from the words of people I love most, I had a realisation, that actually it doesn’t *matter* that I’m not 5’11! Or that my bone structure isn’t perfection or that I don’t really know what makes my body look ‘good’.
Because these opportunities, that come through this little blog, they’re not because I’m model material. They’re actually in-spite of that. They’re because I’m me. I’m not what a brand have asked me to be, I’m not playing a part.
And these photos, these experiences, they’ve helped me realise that it’s okay to step in to the opportunities that are presented to me, I’m not less worthy of them just because I haven’t trained to be a model. I needn’t compare myself if I find myself rubbing shoulders with the most glorious women I’ve ever seen, because, because we’re all bringing something different aren’t we?
And I think that’s okay.
I think that’s really bloody great, actually.It’s just remebering that, isn’t it?
Photography: Catherine Harbour
Hair & Makeup: James Michael Butterfield
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