NEW YEAR: GIVE LESS.
I don’t tend to make New Years resolutions, but I do find myself applying a mantra to each year that rolls around. An intention, if you will. This year I vow to: Give Less.
Give less of me.
Specifically to other people.
I feel things very deeply. I struggle with intense anxiety every day of my life and subsequently worry about everything: all of the time. I worry that I’m not good at my job. I worry I work too much. I worry I don’t work enough. I worry that people don’t like me. I worry about why they might not like me. I worry that I’m letting people down. I worry that I’m not a good friend.
So, after a lot of ups and downs this last year, I’ve realised I exasperate the issue. Shock-horror – I give too much of myself, especially to others.
And so for 2019, I plan to give less of me. Not in a negative or depressing way – quite the opposite! I simply plan on being more mindful of how much of myself I invest in others.
I don’t need to give 250% to anyone in order to be a good person, friend or colleague. And I’m pretty confident my anxiety will ease some if I’m giving that little bit less.
Give less to social media.
Social media is my job, but I definitely don’t have the work-life-balance lifestyle mastered quite yet.
Refreshing apps every few minutes or checking my emails for something ‘urgent’ is something I do far too much. Honestly, it’s worrying. I’m currently reading Matt Haig’s ‘NOTES ON A NERVOUS PLANET’ and he totally hits the nail on the head.
Does the world end when we go for a walk without our phone? No.
Do we need to be attached to it every single minute of the day to feel fulfilled and happy? No.
It’s just become habit. To be available at all times. The whole thought process of ‘if you didn’t post it on social media it didn’t happen’. Except, it bloody well did!
The Email Dilemma.
We live in a digital world where we can access pretty much anything with the click of a button. It’s never been easier to be constantly logged on or constantly contactable – and this year I plan on changing that.
Starting with: deleting the email app off my phone. I’ve had the notifications turned off for a few years – but in all honesty, I think that made it worse. I found myself constantly checking the app, and would get myself in a panic if I couldn’t / didn’t reply to each email within the hour. I’d got it into my head that I’d miss out on opportunities if I wasn’t accessible at all times.
What absolute nonsense.
So, the app is gone. But that didn’t solve the anxiety that ensued – worrying what might be coming in. And so I’ve added an auto-response to all of my emails. It reads:
‘Thank you so much for getting in touch! I go through my emails between the hours of x – x and will get back to you as soon as possible! If your query is of an urgent nature, please drop me a message on instagram (@wonderful_u) – alternatively I’ll look forward to speaking soon!’
And so far, so good. I don’t feel that pressure because people know where they stand when they contact me. And most importantly, it means that my working hours are managed in a much healthier way.
I’m going to continue to experiment with how I can give less throughout 2019 – it’s something I’m feeling really inspired by and I hope you will too!
WHAT I’M WEARING:
Photography by Shweta Shukla