KEEPING INDEPENDENCE IN A COUPLE.
Earlier this year Jamie and I made the decision to start looking for a house together. It was a step we both felt ready for but it surprised me how nervous I felt about losing my independence.
After coming out of my last relationship I’d worked really hard on making sure I could always support myself. I guess I was subconsciously priding myself on not having to ask for help financially; and when we started to discuss the need for joint accounts and sharing a financial responsibility it made me feel, well, funny.
I think when you become so set in your ways you can blur your own view. So much so that you can’t fathom there could be another way? I’d convinced myself if I had to share a responsibility, or heaven forbid, rely on someone else to bring anything to the table, I was failing myself.
It made me feel icky to put myself in a position again where I might need support and my natural instinct was to be afraid of it.
I guess I’d assumed I’d be less accomplished? It sounds pretty silly with hindsight.
One chat with Jamie and I realised how naive I was being. He opened my eyes to the fact that sharing something doesn’t mean losing what you’ve worked for. That doing it together was an equal accomplishment to being able to ‘do it alone’.
Having a joint account doesn’t change our relationship and it doesn’t change the way we live our lives.
Sharing my independence with someone is just as rewarding.
And I’m really excited for this next chapter, together.
Photography by Alexandra Cameron.