DON’T BECOME A RECLUSE.
I always said to myself I didn’t need to live in London to be a ~successful~ blogger (whatever that means). When the blogging world became a thing, it was all about attending every single press launch, being part of a strong, buzzing community.
As the years went on this slowly dissipated. The bustling, supportive hub there once was broke out into smaller friendship groups. One on one lunch dates and group getaways replaced one-off big-bang events and that community vibe fizzled out.
Sitting on the introvert side of the fence, I was quite happy to go with the flow. I bought my first house and set up camp in my little office. I would head into the big smoke once or twice a month and would spend the rest of the time working from home. It worked well.
ANXIETY & ME.
Yesterday I had a job in London. One where I had to socialise with a group of people I had never met, none of whom worked in my industry. Tuesday night I was full of dread and couldn’t quite pinpoint why. Anxiety is basically my evil twin sister, so I assumed she was just rearing her ugly head. It wasn’t until I got back from London on Wednesday evening that I realised why I was so apprehensive.
I’d slowly but surely let myself slip into the mind-set of some kind of recluse. I can’t remember the last time I interacted with a group of people that weren’t my friends and therefor my comfort blanket. My trips to London had reduced and I realised I’d been spending more and more time alone.
I had felt my mental health slipping for the last month or so, without being able to determine the catalyst. But after yesterday it all became so very clear.
I need to step outside of my comfort zone, put myself out there more and shrug off this ever-encompassing imposter syndrome. It can become oh so very easy to compare yourself to others when you are consistently alone with your thoughts. It’s far from an inspiring place to be. And absolutely not reflective of who you really are and what you do.
The buzz I felt from being surrounded by a group of strangers yesterday really lifted my spirits. I found myself feeling proud to share my career with others and couldn’t wait to hear what they had to say, too.
Working from home is something that I’ve always desired. But striking the balance between getting work done and being in others company is a slippery sucker and clearly something I’m learning the hard way.
MAKE A CHANGE.
Yesterday made me feel like for the last six months I’d been letting life slip by. But I needed that wake up call. I don’t want to become someone who is scared to meet new people, do new things. I want to grab my existence by the lady bits and make the most of who I can be.
Working from home doesn’t have to mean being alone. It’s about checking in with yourself and making sure you’re putting your best foot forward.
And sometimes dipping your toes into unknown waters can be the most rewarding.
Who’s with me?
Photography by Alexandra Cameron.