Wednesday, 28 January 2015

My Heart is Yours

My Heart is Yours: A lifestyle blog post on living with a broken heart and trying to figure out the answers.
How do you learn to exist without the person who completed your puzzle? The one who made sure that the last piece slotted in perfectly.

Emotions are funny things aren’t they.

A relationship ends for one reason or another and at the time it seems the only viable option. But when you see that man, the one who you gave everything, planning a future with someone who isn’t you - what are you meant to do with that? Suddenly, all the reasons for it ending between you seem to evaporate and all you can see is how you could make them happier, how you could really make it work this time.

All logic is lost in the mist of hurt and jealousy. Comprehending them loving someone, being in love with someone else - surely that’s impossible. Because if you aren’t capable of loving someone else yet, how can they be?

It makes you question what it was that you had, what you’d held in such high esteem. What did that all mean if it doesn’t resonate with them like it does with you? It sparks a new thought process. You’d made your decision, the end had come. But now, now there’s another and it makes you think: ‘would it be best to try again’?

And then sometimes your mind will let you remember: Everything was wrong. The relationship shattered in to tiny little pieces, that just felt too difficult to put back together again. And so you didn’t.

My question is this: How long does it last? This confusion, the constant ache in your chest? How long can we ride the storm without breaking down and losing the parts of ourselves that make us able to fight? How long until you just know the answer - because 'time is a healer' isn't helping.

All I am certain of is that for now, my heart is yours. For you’re the one who taught me how to open it and love with all I had. And there will never be another, like you.

Wednesday, 21 January 2015

Just Say Yes | I'm Going to Bali

A blog post on leaning in to your fears. Doing things that scare you and learning to love yourself before others. Just Say Yes.
The conversation went like this:

Laura: Late Feb/early March...£514. That is all xo


And it was decided. I was going to Bali.

I'd been in a relationship for 7/8 years and I just wanted to be with him, you know? I didn't want to see the world with anyone else. I was happy to exist in our bubble and if we were together nothing else mattered.

And then it was gone.

Just like that.

I was alone.

Facing the world and having absolutely no idea where my place was in it, without him.

Laura emailed: 'You could do worse than escaping to Bali, Megs'.

And she was right. Because that's exactly what it is: escaping - and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

I want to run away from my problems - so what? Yes they'll still be here when I get back etc. etc.

But I'm taking 2015 as my opportunity to say yes. Look at the world with a fresh pair of eyes. With the people who understand.

Just say YES.

Because: life. It passes us by and half the time our eyes aren't even open to the beauty. I believe in fate but I also believe in hard work. On paper I hated 2014 with all of my being and now I have a hunger, to make 2015 completely different.
Of course, for many people simply taking a little trip to Bali is no big deal - but it's something I would've said no to last year. I would've seen it as simply something great for someone else to do.I mean, I definitely wouldn't have wanted to be away from my partner for more time than absolutely necessary - and flying halfway across the world, on my own? No thanks.

Not now.

I'm going to lean in to my fears, take the opportunities that scare me and run with them. Learn to trust that putting myself first isn't such a bad thing and that maybe if I do? I'll be a better friend, lover, know - just be better at being me. Not the best possible version, but better. That's achievable.

So, Bali. I'll see you soon.

“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.”- John Lennon

Monday, 19 January 2015

She Thinks She's 60's

A personal style blog post wearing Olive Clothing, ASOS, Topshop and She Inside.
A personal style blog post wearing Olive Clothing, ASOS, Topshop and She Inside.
A personal style blog post wearing Olive Clothing, ASOS, Topshop and She Inside.
A personal style blog post wearing Olive Clothing, ASOS, Topshop and She Inside.
A personal style blog post wearing Olive Clothing, ASOS, Topshop and She Inside.
A personal style blog post wearing Olive Clothing, ASOS, Topshop and She Inside.
Top: Topshop. Necklace & Belt: Vintage. Skirt: Olive Clothing. Coat: SheInside. Socks: Topshop. Boots: ASOS.

There's something so wonderful in being able to reinvent yourself. We all have our comfort zones, our go-to wardrobe staples but ultimately, fashion allows you to be a different person every single day and it’s the reason I love it so much.

I’ve been living in leggings for the past year but just lately I’ve found myself falling in love with skirts. This colour block, a-line bad boy from Olive Clothing ticks all the boxes. Suede panels, an everyday wearable length and poppers to fasten? Bellissimo.

Another cheeky steal from SheInside’s endless supply of affordable goodness is this wool blend style coat. With an over sized body and fitted arms it’s a flattering fit and I love the off cream colour. In last week’s post, a few ladies mentioned how much they loved the site but that delivery took a while. And I can’t tell you porky-pies, when you place an order you will be waiting a wee while for it to arrive at your door. But, that being said it’s certainly worth the wait. With affordable shipping and items for half the price of the high-street, I mean you can’t really complain can you? It might not be your one stop shop for next day delivery, but it will provide some steal deals and leave your bank balance happy.

And FYI - Glitter socks make me happy.

Shop my look:

Friday, 16 January 2015

The Reason She's a Slut by Laura Jane Williams

A reflection on Laura Jane Williams piece from Thought Catalog. On Slut Shaming and why it's not okay.
Sex. It's a topic that will prick up one's ears. It'll grab your attention, for one reason or another.

If you read this blog, you'll know who Laura is. My friend, she's part of my tribe: the place she holds in my heart is huge. She's writing for Thought Catalog at the moment, with similar topics she covers on her blog. And this week, she wrote about being a slut.

You can read the article here - where she tells her story in a condensed version. Of how a boy broke her heart and how she was the only one left to pick up the pieces. Because that's how it works. You're together and then? You're alone.

And yeah, you have your friends and your family - but we all know that's not the same. Let's not pretend.

Having our heart broken, it's not something we can ever be prepared for. And there is absolutely no right way of coming back from the dark road it leads you down. We all do it differently, we cope, the best we can and we make mistakes - but most of all? We learn.

About who we're going to be and who we're not.

Most of us aren't born loving ourselves inside and out, it's something we earn for ourselves. Self respect and self worth is built on us learning how to get there - and being brave enough to say: 'this is how I did it'. No matter the journey we took. No-one said it was easy and no-one said how to do it. This all takes courage.

Being newly single, I'm finding it hard to find my feet. I'll wake up one day feeling on top of the world and the next I'll be crying myself to sleep. And it's for this exact reason, that people like Laura make times like these a little easier to bear.

I mean, the thought of being my true self with another man, the way I was with him? It makes me shudder. And when Laura says:

'She’s a slut because she needs to feel wanted. Desired. Sexual. She needs to remind herself that she can. That there are other men out there. But she doesn’t want you to love her. To call. To treat her with any semblance of respect. She doesn’t respect herself because how can she? What is she worth, when the one she gave it all to left so easily, and for somebody else?'

I understand.

I haven't been down that road. I haven't let myself fall, and I'm not talking about being in love. I've been stood on the edge of a cliff for months, second guessing myself. Am I attractive to other people? Am I worth their time? Let alone a space in their bed for the night. I manifest my insecurities in other ways, that I'll work out eventually, too.

We slut shame, but what for?

Everyone's story is different. And labeling a woman a slut for choosing to find herself through having sex that isn't about being in love feels so close minded to me.

We have our journey's, we choose our paths and that's the beauty of it all.

Sometimes it takes a while to realise that it's only us who can save ourselves from what we believe to be true.

When you thought you had everything and it turned out to be something completely different - it crushes you, cripples your ability to love openly and freely. Why should you let someone in, show them the real you, when your only memory is pain from how tragically it ended. That takes time.

Laura's piece has caused a heap of controversy - for obvious reasons. Some of the comments are so cruel. But I hope what most people take from it is that this is one journey, not everyone's. It's this path that's made Laura who she is right now - a woman with more self-worth, confidence and fire for life than I see in most people. She took her path, she got from it what she needed to heal and she learned from it.

You're quick to call a woman a slut. Because you think you know.

But really, you don't know much, until you know the story.

Wednesday, 14 January 2015

Black and White Life

A personal style fashion blog featuring stripes from She Inside and Ridley jeans from ASOS
A personal style fashion blog featuring stripes from She Inside and Ridley jeans from ASOS
A personal style fashion blog featuring stripes from She Inside and Ridley jeans from ASOS
A personal style fashion blog featuring stripes from She Inside and Ridley jeans from ASOS
A personal style fashion blog featuring stripes from She Inside and Ridley jeans from ASOS
A personal style fashion blog featuring stripes from She Inside and Ridley jeans from ASOS
Blouse: She Inside. Jeans: ASOS. Boots: ASOS. Necklace & Belt: Vintage. Fedora: Urban Outfitters. Watch: Olivia Burton
Oh look who it is. And the first outfit post of 2015, too. I know, it’s all a little bit TOO exciting isn’t it?

I haven’t worn my Fedora since I cut off my locks – it had hidden itself away under the seat of my car and on my annual tidy, I found it. So you’ll probably be seeing more of that around these parts.

Sheinside is a recent discovery for me and I have to say I’m pretty bowled over by the whole e-meet. They manage to encapsulate the chicness of Zara and Cos with the high-street feel of Topshop and ASOS and for not even a quarter of the price. This blouse pretty much makes all my dreams come true. I mean, who doesn’t love a good stripe? And with a plunging neckline it can easily be dressed up or down with a little slip underneath for a more suitable, daytime look.

I’ve been living in my Ridley jeans from ASOS. I usually only wear leggings, because I find jeans tend to give at the knees after a few wears – but when you don’t have any knees to give? Well, winner winner chicken dinner. They hold their shape amazingly, don’t go baggy on the bottom and the colour seems to be washing well too – not bad for £35.

Shop my look here:

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